"Knock Knock" "Who's There?" ".....The Brit Awards."

Its award season again. The Oscar's are coming, the Globes have gone, the BAFTA's went, the Grammy's thrilled, and the Brit Awards... cringed.

The Brit Awards have always been a source of controversy. Appearances from Jarvis Cocker, Sharon Osbourne and Liam Gallagher alone showcase the worst/best? of British personalities - without having to mention a medicated Robbie "shabba" Williams, stoned George Michael or in fact any of the numerous intoxicated celebrities that grace our TV screens every year to celebrate the creme de la creme of British muscial talent..... such as One Direction.

No Award show in the world encompasses a perfect blend of National pride and humiliation as the artistic blunder that is the Brits.

There will always be one nominee that provides a talking point as people struggle to think who they actually are - I'm talking of course about past great British talents such as Beth Rowley(?) and Kosheen(?), this years oddball nominee was Anna Calvi... (?)

But I always feel that there can be no greater source of humiliation than when the nominees come out for 'Best British Single'.... And I use the term 'Best' very loosely.

This category is something of a bomb disaster in Afghanistan... random pieces flying everywhere. A quarry that becomes infested with charity singles, covers, one hit wonders - or just plain old shit music.

Considering that the Brits are watched by 6 million people, some of those international, I can't help but think just how embarassing it is when they see some of the nominations that are put up - the country that produced acts such as the Beatles actually believes that Ed Sheerans 'The A Team' should actually be in the same room, let alone the same category as JLS's 'She Makes Me Wanna'. Or that the 'X Factor Finalists' are worthy opponents of Colplay, Adele and Duffy.

For a country that takes so much national pride in its artists on not just a national but a global scale - we don't half take the fucking piss out of them.

This year the big downfalls were a) One Direction ACTUALLY WINNING best british single (Never underestimate the power of a MILITARY size fanbase of pre-pubescent girls experiencing their first wide-ons) and b) Adele, the biggest selling artist of the century so far, being refused an extra 30 seconds during her acceptance speech on receiving 'Album Of The Year' so that Blur could start their 11 MINUTE set. If thats not a punch in the vagina and a spit in the face, I don't know what is. She only won SIX GRAMMYS for fuck sake.

So I implore the people who run the Brit's and the CEO's of ITV - next year... please please please, try and restore some actual serious British pride into the 'most prestigious awards in the country for recorded music' (ugh). And for god sake don't invite George Michael back for another 17 years.